How To Peg Your Man: A Detailed Guide

Man wants to get pegged. Woman wants to peg her man. Now what?

This guide answers the most common question you might have starting out on how to peg your man.

couple laying and a strapon harness with a dildo next to them

How to peg your man? Here are the quick steps, but know that the devil is in the details:

  1. Discussion: Talk about expectations & address potential mental blocks like… is it gay? will it hurt? what sex positions you’ll use?
  2. Prepare the necessary sex toys: lube, harness, and strap on dildo.
  3. Get on with it: take it slow, use lots of lube, play with other body parts.
  4. Aftercare: Cuddle, discuss the experience, and what to improve the next time.

This comic consisting of 65 images really describes the good kind of pegging experience with gentle femdom going on.

This is how a successful and real straight pegging could look like

This is what you want – understanding, good communication and hot surrender that makes you fall in love with each other even more!

How to prepare for pegging: What You’ll Need

You can play with fingers, you can talk about it, but in the end you’ll still need some pegging gear to get the most out of your experience.

These toys will help you to focus on each other and pleasure and not worry about the logistics.

Here I’ll suggest the most comfortable and best value for money toys. Keep in mind there are cheaper toys just these ones will offer the most comfort.

Ideally you’ll need:

  • Lube – butt doesn’t self-lubricate, so lube is a must. The most popular lube between pegging enthusiasts is Sliquid Sassy. It’s a water-based lube that is safe to use with any sex toys & will keep lubrication for long enough. Be generous with it, more is always better in this case.
  • Smaller butt plugs to warm up with (optional) – Yes, you can warm up with fingers, but having basic butt plugs that increase in size comes handy and can be used during the warmup to prepare the butt for something bigger. Here you can pick some basic silicone butt plugs from Lovehoney.
  • Harness – While you can start with 2-in-1 strapon combo (harness + dildo) if you like pegging it’s a lot better long-term investment to get a quality harness that you can use with any kind and size of dildo with a flat base. The undisputed harness leader is Squareparts Joque. It offers the most comfort and fits your body like a glove.
  • Strapon Dildo – you cannot forget the most important part of the pegging process, the dildo! The choices here are vast. You can choose strapless dildo for her pleasure or you can choose simple strapon dildo where you just consider the size you can take.

To cover this in-depth is beside the point of the article, but here’s a good overview of the best strapon for pegging.

pegging toys to prepare for pegging

If you are new to pegging and it’s your first time however I suggest you go for Tantus Unisex harness kit. It comes with two different size dildos and a basic harness.

It’s the good value for price and a good starting ground if you don’t want to overthink it.

Okay, now you’ve got the gear, how do you actually peg your man?

How To Peg Your Man: A Step By Step Guide

While there is something about just going in there and do it with trial and error, a little preparation will go miles forward to avoid making common mistakes.

In my experience the conversation before the pegging and then another one after the play was crucial to ensure we both enjoy the play.

Things will come up especially if you’ve always been doing things the way society teaches us.

Somewhere deep down you might question yourself…

  • Is this right? Is this normal?
  • Is it gay? Am I still a man?
  • Is there something wrong with me that I enjoy this?

Recognise these inner conversations for what they are. Limited thinking, fear.

Nevertheless these must be addressed, talk through to let them go.

#1 – The Conversation: Overcoming Any Potential Mental Blocks

You might chuckle about some of those questions, but go through them with your partner nevertheless. Trust me, it will help.

Is Pegging Gay?

Pegging involves a man and woman so that can’t be gay. Gay men also enjoy blowjobs, that doesn’t mean that if you enjoy blowjobs you’re gay too?

Being gay means being attracted to the same sex. Straight pegging means that you enjoy prostate stimulation with your woman.

Enjoying P-spot stimulation is the equivalent of her getting pleasure from her g-spot.

You don’t need to even be submissive in pegging, if that’s the concern.

Does it hurt to get pegged?

Pegging can hurt, but it doesn’t need to hurt. If you take things slow, use plenty of lube, start with a finger and slowly size up – there’s nothing that can hurt.

In fact a good kind of pegging feels really good.

What to expect?

Well, let’s face it – the first time will be awkward. Anything that you do for the first time doesn’t feel natural.

She will be controlling a fake penis and will try to thrust – things that aren’t natural to her.He will be exposing his butt hole and surrender – something that is very uncommon for a man to do. Embrace it, have fun with it – just laugh off any accidents and keep going.

Does it mean I’m not in charge?

You can have pegging session without bringing in dominant/submissive act.

If you’re worried you can have a discussion upfront so you still control a pace… But yes, you will need to give up some of the control and she will need to pick up and be more in charge.

#2 – How To Prepare For Pegging (For Man and Woman)

First, here are things that couple can do separately to prepare for the session:

  • For woman: Try wearing a strap on around the house, get used to having a penis. Also, it’s a good idea to spend some time to learn how to put on a strapon so you don’t need to think about logistics when the time comes.
  • For a man: #1 tip is to play with the ass by yourself. Learn to relax, discover what kind of sensation you enjoy – thrusting, vibrations, angled, defined ridges, rotating, pressing. Additionally, if you want to enjoy pegging a LOT more – abstain from ejaculation for a week. Pegging feels so much better with a full prostate, you’ll feel so sensitive to lightest touches. (cock cage helps to avoid cheating).

Okay, but what about actual preparation before the play?

Clean your ass

If cleanliness is the worry you can take a shower and use finger to clean your ass.

The same way, it’s good to plan the pegging time after you’ve emptied your bowels.

While you can take full-blown anal douche it’s not necessary, a simple shower and fingering will clean 80% of anything that might be there.

Get into the mood & warmup

Same as with anal sex, it’s no fast act. Warming up, stretching will take time so why not enjoy it?

Put nice music on, play with bodies, arouse each other. It’s a good time to get out the butt plugs and get the butt prepared for something bigger.

various pegging positions

#3 – How The Actual Pegging Process Looks Like

First, let’s set the right expectations and align them with reality. The actual pegging process is NOTHING like it looks in porn.

This story best describes the reality of pegging:

“Here are some musings on stuff you don’t see in pegging porn (and I’m cutting out of mine to make a sexier and smoother video) that happen all the fucking time in real life.

Kinda writing this for humorous purposes but also because porn isn’t real life, y’all – even the amateur kind.

  • Fuck, this angle doesn’t work
  • Wiping super lubey hands on towels
  • “Oof, stay still while I adjust”
  • “Can we stop? I feel like I need to pee” (I know, super common with prostate stimulation)
  • “Hang on, I need to adjust my straps…”
  • “Can you add more lube?”
  • Trying this sexy position from porn… That turns out not to work for your combined body proportions AT ALL
  • Getting completely out of breath because fucking is cardio
  • “…I think I need to pee again”
  • Accidental “OUCH!!”
  • “…still clean?” “all good!”
  • Taking a break to get his cock hard so he can come (I actually leave this in my videos because it’s nice!)
  • Sweaty cuddles afterwards, covered in lube and cum (so hot)”

Source: Reddit, user: party_examination

So there you have it. Embrace the messiness.

But if you need some pegging tips:

  • Use lots of lube
  • Start really slow
  • Don’t forget to play with his member
  • Be prepared for trial and error
  • Improvise – mix and match different sex toys, positions and dynamics

Here are 3 best pegging positions if you’re a beginner:

  1. Him on his back on the edge of the bed, girl standing up and thrusting. This is the easiest position to start with for most. You can put a pillow under his butt to adjust any height difference so it’s comfortable for him, and it’s good to leverage for her.
  2. Doggy style. He can put his hips back as much as he needs to make up for height differences. Also the more you keep your knees forward, and dip/arch your back, your butt naturally relaxes and opens making penetration easier. It presents an easy landing spot on your prostate for the strapon dildo. Another advanced tip: have her grip right in your hip crease and pull backward as she thrusts for explosive results.
  3. Him on top. Have her lie down and hold the dildo to steady it. He should squat onto the dildo at first. After it gets in, he can relax his knees down beside her and bounce on the dildo with a “sitting motion”. If she is on a hard enough surface with grip, she can also grab his hips and thrust upwards. Great position because you are facing each other for added intimacy and kissing option is there.

#4 – Aftercare

After you’re done for the day it’s a great time to discuss how everything went. You’ll find plenty of room to improve for the next times and cool ideas to try.

Oh, and a shower and cleanup is a must.

For us, aftercare from our pegging matches what we do after non pegging sessions we have.

Just one great complete experience:

  • …No role changes…
  • No added fetish…
  • Just us loving each other.

It’s amazing way to share heterosexual love with your man or woman.

Why Do Men Like Pegging?

Men like pegging because it feels really good, it’s a great way to spice things up, and it’s simply fun if you don’t take things too seriously.

While some will preach how pegging is gay, and for them anything butt related is taboo, we know better.

It simply means you enjoy anal play and have discovered the pleasures that the prostate offers.

Why Do Women Like Pegging?

Women like pegging for the same (almost) reason as men.

It’s fun, it’s sexy, and it’s an incredible way to switch positions.

It feels spicy hot and chances are that changing roles will bring you both closer and offer the perspective.

How To Get Your Wife To Try Pegging?

What to do if your woman needs some convincing for pegging? Here’s what you can do:

Just talk to her, explain the process, read pegging stories together.

You can show her this guide, dig up more stories, show the comic (from the intro), watch amateur pegging porn together.

Make it fun for her (Add vibrations or strapless, double ended strap on)

Maybe she’s not excited that she won’t feel anything? Well, there are double ended dildos that vibrate – you both can have plenty of pleasure at the same time! You can also take turns 🙂

Try a sex quiz to find out what fantasies your partner has

Just talking and exploring each other kinks will help to become more open-minded. Here’s a quick BDSM test to take to discover each other’s dominant sexual archetype, for example.

Here’s a helpful story how one man convinced his wife to peg him:

“I think that sometimes it’s hard to get into something quickly that you’ve thought in the past was really taboo/something you probably wouldn’t do/never thought about it/whatever the case is

After my husband asked me to do it, it took me a while (about a year and a half) to get to the point where I felt confident and for me to enjoy doing any anal play. I needed time and space to get there because it was really something I had no idea about beforehand. He let me initiate it, and would only passively suggest he was in the mood for it so I never felt pressured by him. He let me lead the way and because of that, I feel 100% respected and that now it’s something we can really bond over and enjoy together because I wasn’t pushed into doing something I was unsure about at first.

We also talked about boundaries, feelings, and what we both wanted from it.

Communication is key here and although she’s expressed interest in pegging, you need to be patient and realize that she also has feelings about it that she’s working with that need to be heard and processed in general, so having a conversation outside of sex is completely necessary because then you’ll actually know where she stands and what she really feels.”

Bringing It All Together

Now all you can do is learn by practice!

Hope this guide answered all your pressing questions on how to peg your man and made you more confident to try pegging your man.

I also recommend you join the community like this subreddit StraightPegging to be able to share your fears, wins, losses, and pick up more cool ideas to try next time.


Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

With over 2 year experience working in a local adult toy store Dainis has gathered quite a bit of experience about helping people find the best for their needs. He's also a top writer on Quora (7M views, 2.3K followers) and has written over 70+ guides on SexualAlpha. Read More

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