How To Anal Fist (Yourself or Girlfriend): Guide For Beginners

Okay, let’s get one thing straight from the outset: anal fisting is definitely NOT for the faint of heart. However, if you find yourself occasionally dabbling in other forms of butt play, you might want to consider spicing up your game with a handful (pun intended!) of fisting techniques.

anal fisting toys

And no, you don’t have to go all-in at the first attempt. You can slowly build your way up and gradually introduce one finger at a time up your — or your partner’s — derriere. 

Take our word for it: do it right, and there will be no going back for you. Anal fisting can be one of THE most orgasmic and intimate sexual acts out there. 

Did we pique your curiosity? If so, here’s a brief summary on how to fist yourself (or anyone else):

How To Do Anal Fisting For Beginners

First, discuss your hard limits and safe words. If you are a receiver, get an enema. If you are a giver, wash your hands, trim your nails, and use latex gloves.

Relax and lube up. Have the receiver lie on one side. Insert one finger and gently work your way up until you get all five in.

Fair Enough — But What Exactly Is Anal Fisting?

Anal fisting is any sexual act that involves the penetration of the anal canal using all five fingers.

However — and this is an important however — the fister’s hand does not have to be shaped like a fist. We’ll discuss that in more detail later. 

Another widely held but incorrect belief about fisting is that it’s all about heavy thrusting.

The reality is that, yes, anal fisting may involve thrusting — but you can just as well use your hand to simply stroke or fill up the asshole. 

Finally, many people (wrongly) associate anal fisting with pain and severe discomfort. While fisting certainly has its place in power play and BDSM, it does not have to be painful.

In fact, it’s best to keep it on the gentler side for health and safety reasons. 

What Does Anal Fisting Feel Like?

If you like to feel filled up and stretched to the limit with the best anal stretching toys, fisting can also certainly help with that.

However, you can take the intensity of the sensation up or down a notch by changing the position and movement of the hand and fingers. 

What’s more, the human hand can offer a much wider range of sensations and types of stimulation than conventional sex toys.

Just think about it — it’s like having a dildo with five independently moving shafts!

Like other forms of anal play, fisting can help you reach the big “O” by stimulating the prostate or the G-spot by massaging the posterior vaginal wall.

However, fisting allows you to apply a lot more pressure on your sweet spots compared to more vanilla options such as fingering or sex toys.

You might be able to orgasm just through the stimulation of the anal canal alone!

Why Do People Like Anal Fisting? 

In addition to the purely physical sensations — which can be wonderful — many people are into anal fisting because it allows them to play out their BDSM or humiliation fantasies.

There aren’t many better ways to fully submit to your Dominant and give them total control over your body.

Others fantasize about being gang-raped or double-penetrated, and fisting can definitely give you a stretch similar to that of having multiple dongs inside you.

And then there’s the fact that anal fisting still has the reputation of a taboo practice. And taboos make for the best fetishes. 

That said, perhaps the main reason so many people are drawn to fisting has to do with something much more romantic: intimacy. You didn’t see this one coming, did you? 

If you think about it, though, it’s not that surprising.

As we’ll see in a bit, anal fisting requires a high level of trust and constant communication between the two partners — before, during, and after the act.

That’s not something you necessarily get with “regular” sex.

How To Prepare For Anal Fisting?

Before we get on with our step-by-step fisting guide, we need to make sure you have the basics covered.

When it comes to anal fisting, thorough preparation is absolutely vital to avoid unpleasant and potentially dangerous incidents.

Stock Up On Lube

Stock Up On Lube

The importance of lube cannot be overstated. The anus is not self-lubricating, and you will be inserting an entire human HAND in there.

You’ll be needing copious amounts of lube to get the job done. 

If you’ll be penetrating using your or your partner’s hand only, silicone lube is your best bet.

It has a thicker consistency and lasts quite long, which should minimize the need to reapply it too often. 

However, if you plan on throwing toys into the mix as well, stick to water-based lube. Most sex toys on the market today have silicone, and silicone-based lube will damage the surface. 

And if you will be using latex gloves (which we strongly advise), don’t even think about using oil-based lube, as it will break down the latex and compromise your health and safety. 

Gather Your Toys

Gather Your Toys

While toys are entirely optional, it’s always a good idea to warm up your butt using something smaller and more manageable before shoving your whole fist in there. 

For best results, use a few toys that get incrementally larger in size, such as anal training kits or an anal dilator.

That should give your butt a good stretch and prepare it for the main event. 

Spread Some Towels 

You will be exploring your or your partner’s anus in great depth. That means it’s entirely possible to have a close encounter with fecal matter — and no, enemas are not 100% poop-proof. 

So, just to be on the safe side, make sure to spread a few towels around and keep some tissues handy. Oh, and you might want to use sheets that you don’t mind getting a little dirty.

In any case, if some poop does come out, don’t panic, and don’t let that ruin the experience for you.

Simply pop in the shower, clean yourself up, and resume the play. Don’t give yourself a douche or an enema at this stage, though — that will only make things runnier.

Learn Anal Anatomy

Similar to knowing how to gape, learning fisting is one of the most extreme forms of anal play. While that can be incredibly arousing, it also significantly increases the risk of injury.

To make sure that everyone is safe, you want to know what you are doing — whether you are the receiver or the giver.

Therefore, it’s highly recommended that you study the anatomy of the anal canal in detail. Read medical articles, look at pictures, and watch videos.

The more you know, the better prepared you will be for any eventuality.

Manage Your Expectations

Unlike the vagina, the anus did not evolve to take things in. If anything, its sole physiological function is to push things out

And if that wasn’t enough, the anal sphincters can be rather tight fellas. It’s totally normal; after all, they have to hold your poop in. 

With that in mind, you might want to manage your expectations, especially if you are not an experienced player.

It’s highly likely that you won’t be able to accommodate an entire hand at the first try.

That’s perfectly fine — take it slow and gentle, add one finger at a time, and enjoy the ride. You’ll get there when you get there. 

Oh, and if you can’t even shove a regular butt plug or a dildo up your butt, forget about fisting altogether.

Focus on fingering and inserting smaller-sized toys until you are stretched enough and ready for more.

How To Anal Fist The RIGHT Way

Whether you want to learn how to fist your girlfriend or are looking to give prostate fisting a try, the steps below are essential for a safe and pleasurable fisting experience.

Step 1: Talk To Your Partner

There’s no doubt about it: anal fisting is intense. At times, it can get both physically and psychologically uncomfortable. 

That’s why it’s absolutely vital to discuss your anal session with your partner before you even take off your clothes. You should set clear boundaries and hard limits. 

Don’t forget to also agree on your safe words.

For everyone to feel safe and get the most out of the experience, both partners must know that they can put an end to the fisting session at any moment. 

Step 2: For The Receiver: Give Yourself An Enema

A good old bowel movement and a standard anal douche will simply not cut it in this case.

The anus has not one, not two, but three sphincters. The first two are situated at the opening of the anal canal, and they get stimulated during most types of butt play.

However, the third one — also known as the distal sphincter — is at the very end of the canal.

It guards the entrance to the lower anal colon and upper rectum, which is where your body stores your poop. 

As fisting reaches all the way up the anal canal, it’s highly likely to stimulate and loosen the distal sphincter.

So, to reduce the risk of poop encounters, you might want to give yourself a thorough enema. 

Step 3: For The Giver: Wash Your Hands And Trim Your Nails

Givers, you have quite a bit of washing to do yourselves.

The interior lining of the anal canal is extremely delicate, sensitive, and much more susceptible to damage and tears than the muscles of the vagina.

The risk of injury, infections, and STDs such as HIV or hepatitis is high, so you want to get your hands as clean as humanly possible.

Wash your hands thoroughly with antibacterial soap under running warm water.

Make sure to also clean under your nails, and don’t forget to trim them. The shorter, the better — this is neither the time nor the place to sport a fancy manicure. 

For extra protection, we strongly advise you to wear latex gloves while fisting.

Even microscopic tears on your skin and in your partner’s anal canal can compromise your health.

Step 4: Both Of You: Relax And Warm-Up

As with any form of anal play, you want to relax and get as aroused as possible.

That will help loosen up the sphincters and should make for a much more pleasurable experience.

Do whatever takes you to your happy place: porn, candles, music, wine, hot baths, oral sex — you know the drill. 

Step 5: Get In The Right Position

It always helps to get in a position that will straighten and open up the anal canal, especially if you are a beginner or not fully warmed up. 

While no two bodies are 100% alike, most people find anal penetration easier if they get down on all fours or lie on one side with their knees drawn to their chest.

If you are on your side, consider placing a pillow or a cushion underneath to give you some extra lift. 

Step 6: Start By Inserting A Finger Or A Toy

Now, on to the main event. Start by applying a liberal amount of lube around your or your partner’s anus. Don’t forget to put some on your hand, fingers, and any toys you will be using. 

Start by slowly inserting a single finger or the smallest-sized toy you’ve got. Push up until you meet resistance, or your partner tells you to stop. 

Stay put for a short while to give the anus a chance to stretch. Then, start to gently wiggle your finger or the toy using circular and back-and-forth motions.

When you both feel it’s time to take things up a notch, push the toy farther up or introduce one more finger. 

Continue to incrementally stretch the anal canal and work your way up until you can fit all five fingers and the entire hand.

Instead of making a fist, it might be easier to insert your hand by extending your fingers and having them overlap one another.

Some people call that the “duck hand” or the “Italian emphasis hand” position.

Once you get the hand in, explore different types of movements such as stroking or thrusting.

Try curling your fingers in the direction of the belly button to see if you can stimulate the prostate or the G-spot. 

As you do that, always check in with your body or your partner to make sure that everything is okay.

If something doesn’t feel right, take it slow or stop and resume the session at another time.

Step 7: Clean Yourself And Your Toys

When you are done, you’ll probably want to get a good nap. Before doing that, though, make sure that both you and your partner hop in the shower.

Clean your butt, wash your hands with antibacterial soap and sanitize any toys as per the manufacturer’s instructions. 

Oh, and don’t forget to change the sheets. Even if you can’t see it, there’s probably some fecal matter on them. You don’t want to go to bed like that.

Dangers And Safety Precautions

We’ve already covered most of the safety precautions, but they bear repeating. That’s why we’ve prepared this handy anal fisting safety checklist:


  • Wash your hands using antibacterial soap and warm water 
  • Trim and clean under your nails
  • Wear latex gloves


  • Give yourself an enema


  • Use plenty of lube 
  • Go slow and gentle
  • In case of pain, stop immediately
  • Wash all towels and bedsheets right away
  • Sanitize any sex toys before and after the fisting session
  • Hop in the shower and sanitize your hands after the session
  • Set clear boundaries and have safe words 

Other People’s Tips, Experiences, And Techniques

“I usually alternate the figures from a fist formation to a ‘fingers together’ one. The fist just ‘fills in space’ and provides more control over the movements. While the other formation allows deeper insertion. I don’t focus too much on the prostate, it’s close enough to the opening, so it gets contact the whole time.”

Q: “Has your ability to poop been affected by this? Does it flow forth from the bowels of hell?

A: “The only significant difference was the noticeable increase [in the] capacity of the rectum. Have had some trips to the bathroom which resulted in ‘Damn, that is… a lot of poop.’ Nothing that would require me to need an adult diaper, as the muscles settle back into their normal elasticity after play. The only ‘negative effect’ has been a day of constipation that usually occurred the day after, but never posed as a real problem.”

Reddit user


Did our guide get you to consider anal fisting? Are you curious to give it a go? 

Let us know what you think in the comments section, and feel free to share your tried-and-tested fisting techniques.

Anal fisting can be tricky, but it’s also incredibly pleasurable, so we all could probably use some handy (see what we did there?) tips and tricks!

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

With over 2 year experience working in a local adult toy store Dainis has gathered quite a bit of experience about helping people find the best for their needs. He's also a top writer on Quora (7M views, 2.3K followers) and has written over 70+ guides on SexualAlpha. Read More

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